Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
