You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
