do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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