I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
