My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
