Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
