you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
