Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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