I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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