watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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