Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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