girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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