Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
