I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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