The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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