That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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