Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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