NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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