I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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