I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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