How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
