hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
