Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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