She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
