he shaved USA in his pubs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
