you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
