Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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