It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
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I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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