highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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