Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
