Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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