bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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