I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
