it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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