she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
