I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize