Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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