Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
