You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
