We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
