He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
