I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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