He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize