She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
