is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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