the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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