How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
