I murdered the dance floor call the cops
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
