Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
