I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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