We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is my gift to your gina
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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