shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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