Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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