if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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