let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
