they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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