i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
