I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize