woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
