And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
