Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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