WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
