Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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