Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
