I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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