im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
