I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
